• Bill White
    • PE
    • Joined in September 2013
  • Most recently, Bill White was a film and music critic for the Seattle PI until its demise in 2009. Prior to that, he was artistic director of Pendulum Theatre in ... Show More
  • 5/28/2017 2:38:13 AM
    i am miss yashita ghazi i have a proposal for you via at (yashitaghazi11@gmail.com)
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 9 :
    7/20/2016 1:24:08 AM
    there is a drastic change in the narrator's personality here,and i dont buy it.especially after the terror of the previous chapter.Now she is kind of a smart alecky super ... Show More
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons Well, a lot of the whole "Fauna Faucett/smart-alecky superhero" stuff in this chapter is written very much tongue-in-cheek. Skylar is a bit quirky so, having had these "abilities" granted to her, there would, through the drama with the spirit creature, be a sense of fun & wonder and, even though she is confused and struggling to adjust to these newfound abilities, Skylar's humor is more of a way to get past her nervousness and focus on staying alive, kinda like how Spider-Man may crack jokes during battle to help get through his nerves. Skylar is not a superheroine by any stretch of the imagination, but she's just a girl with strange powers granted to her trying to make sense of it all. We start to regain some of the darkness later on in the narrative.
      7/20/2016 1:50:04 AM
    • Bill White i have to admit..i did think of spiderman more than once.
      7/20/2016 2:51:00 AM
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 8 :
    7/20/2016 1:13:51 AM
    you dont give us your location iatt he start, sowe dont have the persective from which you are observing.in the end it suggests you may have been in your bed the whole ... Show More
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons Well, in that chapter, what happened was that Skylar's body had been present the whole time but it was her spirit that had taken this "journey". I agree that perhaps the journey could use some expansion to heighten the drama.
      7/20/2016 1:30:40 AM
    • Bill White hypothetically, if something happened to make him return to the lake, and while he was on it, the flames rose all around him and he was pulled down into a flaming, wet abyss where he witnessed the monster's history, as long as he wakes in his bed at home the reader will know it has been a journey of the spirit, not the body..yet will have experienced the visceral excitement of a physical event..... .the only thing here that really bothers me is that i cannot get a good visual of him seeing the flames from a distance, followed by a jump cut into the flames.
      7/20/2016 1:38:07 AM
    • Andre Clemons Who is the "he" you're referring to?
      7/20/2016 1:39:27 AM
    • Bill White sorry, i meant she. for some reason i think of Skylar as a him at times...no idea why.
      7/20/2016 1:41:59 AM
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 7 :
    7/20/2016 12:43:26 AM
    Watch out! Here comes Lexi.
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons Wait till you see how Lexi acts in Chapter 9... :)
      7/20/2016 12:44:33 AM
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 6 :
    7/19/2016 11:31:47 PM
    i like the idea that the sheriff would rather believe aserial killer is loose in the town than in a spiritual or supernatural explanation for the deaths. i think a great ... Show More
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons Yeah, that's the sheriff's belief. Unfortunately, he seems to be the only person who believes that theory. Nearly the whole town is against him...
      7/19/2016 11:34:39 PM
  • Marianna Lemos commented on Chapter 7 :
    7/19/2016 11:38:05 AM
    Love your writing. Keep going!
    118 +Votes
    A shy person who cries when she sings becomes a Youtube sensation Demands for public performances result in rumors that ... More Info
    • Bill White Marianna. Thank you for reading. I am so glad th at you liked it.
      7/19/2016 11:57:26 AM
    • Marianna Lemos I thank you for the pleasure of reading. I hope you win. You deserve it.
      7/19/2016 1:31:51 PM
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 5 :
    7/19/2016 2:29:21 AM
    getting deep now
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons Oh, trust me, it gets deeper... :)
      7/19/2016 2:56:27 AM
    • Bill White I believe you. Andre, you are a deep thinker, and a good writer too.
      7/19/2016 3:06:59 AM
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 4 :
    7/18/2016 4:14:01 AM
    spooky and with such vivid images that i felt i was drowning . when are we going to find out what's going on? my guess - purely a guess, i wouldnt venbeton it..is that ... Show More
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 2 :
    7/14/2016 2:48:28 AM
    and what a way to end the chapter! i didnt expect that so soon. lexi , as you describe her, is the spitting image of a room-mate i had in boston back in 1982. mismatched ... Show More
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons Well, being that I know what happens to Lexi throughout the rest of the story, I hope your roommate friend isn't too much like Lexi lol... Glad to see you still reading!!
      7/16/2016 10:47:00 PM
  • Bill White commented on Chapter 3 :
    7/15/2016 2:06:33 PM
    really good dialog between the kids..i like the incisive way you diss the media,,and what a cliffhanger at the end. t
    266 +Votes
    Growing up in such a small town, Lake Luna is a place full of natural wonders and supernatural happenings. It's a place ... More Info
    • Andre Clemons That dialogue was a bit hard to get down on the page, going back and forth like that and to keep it moving the story forward, but I'm glad it worked out. And that cliffhanger only makes things even crazier....
      7/16/2016 10:40:28 PM
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