• Laura Klotz
    • PA, US
    • Joined in November 2013
  • I write many different things. I would rather spend my time doing that than most anything else. In addition to my fiction, I'm a staff writer for Indie Game Magazine and ... Show More
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    3/17/2014 2:25:54 AM
    It looks like you've got some great ideas. I did find a few grammatical errors throughout this chapter, but other than that it's off to a pretty good start. Keep up the good work. :)
    28 +Votes
    Tyson lives in the future with no picture of the past; a hostage testing out alternate realities for a government in ... More Info
    Dystopian, Sci Fi
    • View 1 more comment(s)
    • Laura Klotz The word "metallic" is misspelled, and I see you capitalizing the words 'said' and 'asked' in a lot of instances where they should be lowercase - for example, "Have there been any more books at the port, Ty?" Asked Grace. Those are the ones that grabbed me during the read. Easily fixed, though! :)
      3/17/2014 3:15:47 AM
    • Melissa Jordan Oh my...I've been writing dialogue tags wrong incorrectly most of my life. Thank you for telling me this!
      3/17/2014 10:18:07 AM
    • Melissa Jordan In my previous reply to this post, I meant to say "wrong". Instead of wrong and incorrectly. I want to thank you again for pointing out the dialogue tags. Despite all the creative writing I have done (that I subsequently gave to teachers), no one has pointed this out to me before. Alas, teachers are not the same as editors.
      3/17/2014 10:43:00 AM
    • Laura Klotz It's not an uncommon mistake, so don't beat yourself up. :) You're very welcome.
      3/17/2014 4:40:09 PM
    • ANN brown Hello good day, i will like to meet you in person, am miss Anna, am from France and am leaving in London, please contact me on my email id at (annh1brown@hotmail.com), for more information about me. because i have some important thing i will like to discuss with you privately. Hope to hear from you soon. Anna, thanks
      5/6/2016 7:29:38 PM
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    3/24/2014 8:39:26 PM
    Very cute so far! (And I can't say I'm complaining about the choice of name..)
    46 +Votes
    Once upon a time, in a kingdom not too far away, but further away than you might think, there lived a young girl whose ... More Info
    • S C Dear Laura - I'm glad you've enjoyed this silly YA book so far, and know that it was exactly you, Frau Klotz, whom I imagined when naming the heroine (smiling). Chapter 3 should be posted anon, and I forward to taking a gander at your own serial. Yours - Scott Anthony
      3/25/2014 4:14:14 PM
    • S C Try Ch. 3, Miss Laura (the titular name of my story)
      7/25/2014 1:36:40 AM
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    5/12/2014 7:12:45 PM
    Your first chapter is so rife with punctuation and grammatical errors that I found it difficult to read. Why is there a space before every comma? Why are there so many ... Show More
    (2 chapter reviews) | 54 +Votes
    Joanne and Pete have never taken a driving lesson in their life, now both in their late thirties with their third child ... More Info
  • F.A Carrillo commented on Chapter 1 :
    4/15/2014 5:00:01 AM
    Exciting start you have there. Voted and added to my reading shelf!
    (4 chapter reviews) | 369 +Votes
    Young Tobiah is unexpectedly swept up into the quest of Lady Gray, a figure of legend and fear. Lady Gray and her ... More Info
    • Laura Klotz Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!
      4/15/2014 5:16:01 AM
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 0 :
    4/6/2014 4:30:10 PM
    You have a couple of spelling mistakes (in the description, the word is loses, not looses) and your dialogue tags need to be fixed. I agree with the previous commenter ... Show More
    54 +Votes
    Fifteen years have passed since the war of the Needles that costed the Etradour the loss of four cities, and the rebels ... More Info
  • 4/6/2014 4:21:24 PM
    (1 chapter reviews) | 18 +Votes
    After the death of his father and with his home under threat of repossession shy fifteen year old Ajax is forced to ... More Info
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    4/6/2014 4:21:12 PM
    I think this has a lot of promise, and I enjoyed it. There are a few small technical mistakes, the occasional missing comma and that sort of thing, but nothing that ... Show More
    (1 chapter reviews) | 18 +Votes
    After the death of his father and with his home under threat of repossession shy fifteen year old Ajax is forced to ... More Info
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    4/6/2014 4:07:58 PM
    I'm finding this incredibly difficult to read. You have run-on sentences and giant walls of text. There are serious grammar errors - your dialogue tags, for instance. And ... Show More
    14 +Votes
    Marina Fisher is a pretty tough woman she is an assistant to a major ad company CEO. She lives on her own in an ... More Info
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    4/6/2014 4:01:57 PM
    You're going to want to give this chapter a very tough edit. It's difficult to read. Whenever a new character speaks, their dialogue needs to be on a new line; the way it ... Show More
    19 +Votes
    Emma is a normal girl, on a normal world, in a normal solar system, in a normal galaxy, in a normal universe. But when ... More Info
    Adventure, Sci Fi
  • Laura Klotz commented on Chapter 1 :
    4/6/2014 3:57:57 PM
    I wanted to return the favor by looking at your story. You've definitely got potential, as the other commenters have stated. Some bits jogged me out of the story because ... Show More
    (2 chapter reviews) | 108 +Votes
    Glen invites his childhood friends to participate in the pre-release of Terrestria in celebration of the game's release. ... More Info
    • Argentum Vir Actually, this is the updated chapter too. Haha. Also, the kind of parents that would also have an odd sense of humor. It's supposed to be cleared up at a later date that the Wilde family really lives up to their name. xD
      4/6/2014 4:46:56 PM
    • Argentum Vir Oh, and this chapter is sci-fi, but the rest is hardcore high-fantasy with a smattering of sci-fi. To be honest, it's a big mix of both lol.
      4/6/2014 4:57:23 PM