Galico JP 30
Steven Marshall
(16 reviews)
Something stalks the back roads of Northern Ontario. A darkness with ties to forces older than ... Show More
Genres:
American Gothic, Cross-Genre, Fantasy, Horror, Mystery, Other, Paranormal, Thriller
Tags:
survival, vampire, werewolf, legend, indian, killer, slasher, native, murder, ghost

Prologue


The man sat alone upon a park bench beneath the ominous drift of a rising moon. Many of the watchers hovered in the twilight, but they never spoke to him. Like the moon, they hung in eerie repose. He closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to forget their presence.

They were always there; always in pain.

Day and night.

He had long since learned to live with their silent vigilance, not that the figures became any less menacing. It was the reason he spent so much time in the park. Somehow, their company was less disturbing in this place, with the whistles of the dog walkers and the rhythmic slap of tennis rackets from the courts nearby. But at some point he would have to go home. Face them within the loneliness of the apartment.

He tried not to think about that time.

A park lamp flicked on behind him and he ruffled the pages of a journal, picked a pen from his breast pocket and prepared to write. He fingered the pale scar upon his throat and took a breath of the early evening air as he gathered his thoughts. The crisp smell of damp foliage conjured memories of the night when it all began. Memories of her. Could fifteen years really have passed?

A wail shattered the air. 

The man glanced up to see one of the watchers sitting cross-legged on the grass, not far from the tennis courts. Still, the players danced and weaved beneath the floodlights of the courts, unaware of the tortured figure that clawed frantically --uselessly-- at its hair.

“I’m going to end this,” whispered the man.

The figure continued to scream and ravage its scalp in the moonlight, uncomforted by the words.

“I promise you all, I’m going to end this.”

Slowly the man turned his attention to the journal, and he wrote.

June 7th, 2014

I see dead people...

Isn’t that the famous line from that ghost movie with Bruce Willis? It amazes me how Hollywood can take such a frightening concept and boil it down to a nifty little marketing blurb that fits nicely onto T-shirts and cheap gift cards.

I see dead people...

Well I see them too. And you wanna know something? They aren’t the morose spirits of dead psychiatrists. They’re not lost romantics, nor are they escapees from some Gothic fantasy. The dead people I see are twisted, bloody phantasms, torn from the ravaged womb of mother earth. They’re as restless in the harsh light of day as they are in the dark hours.

Messages for the living? 

Forget it. 

They’re too busy wrestling with their own torment to pass on their love to Auntie Agnes, or forgive hubby for screwing the secretary when he was supposed to be working late. When they speak --if they speak at all-- it’s a brief snippet of something unintelligible that might just be a prayer for release. And good God, when they scream... when they scream it’s a terrible noise that reverberates though your bones and makes you sick to your soul. A reminder that this life we enjoy is nothing but a tiny sunlit island awash in an ocean of darkness; a brief reprieve from oblivion. As the saying goes, you’re a long time dead.

I never used to be afraid of death, but I’m terrified of it now. The worst thing is... she’s among them. I see her more frequently these days; her quivering lips pleading for someone, anyone, to do something. I can’t even imagine the suffering she endured in her final hours, but I know the ones who were responsible.

I know what they are.

And now I know where they came from.

If I’m to be true to her; if there’s one thing I can do to release any of these souls from their agony, then I must face the nightmare again. I have to go to the place where it began...


 
*     *     *
 
June 30th, 1999

Hunched trees guarded the stony rest where the camper was parked. The three kids stopped in their tracks, wary of the still vehicle. The dirty windshield gave a muted reflection of late afternoon sun; the siding was worn and grimy. The door to the habitat area swayed in the breeze, yet no children played beside it, and no middle-aged father sat on the step drinking a cold beer. Something about the camper reminded Sara of a coffin.

“Sure is quiet. You think anyone’s inside?” asked Leon, scratching the inflamed Skeeter bites that mottled his bony arms.

“Maybe they broke down; went off looking for a garage,” said Sara, craning her neck to see farther down the densely wooded road.

Leon scratched harder. “Kinda stupid leaving the door open though, if that’s the case.”

Tom laughed. “I told you to use more repellent, Mr. Furious.”

“Well shit, it’s too late now. Either of you guys got anything?”

Sara shook her head.

“I’ve got some spray that’ll numb it,” said Tom, after a deliberate pause. He eased the straps of his rucksack over his broad shoulders and huge biceps.

“C’mon, man. Before I claw myself to death.”

What an odd pair, Sara thought to herself. The Dumb Jock and the Nerd Prince. Not something you saw often, but then again, Tom and Leon were both much more than the sum of their stereotypes. Tom, while keenly athletic, was one of the most atypical Jocks she had ever encountered. Smart and funny, with an incredibly caring nature that he tried his best to hide from his peers.

Indeed, it was his ‘soft center’ that caused Tom to intervene when he and Sara came across three wannabe tough-guys terrorizing Leon outside a locker room, last October. Tom’s formidable presence had caused the students to cease the beating and slink away from their prey, sheepishly. But in a twist of events, Leon simply thanked Tom for evening the odds, then called for the leader of the pack to come back alone. Tom and Sara both watched as the scrawny character lunged forward and delivered a spirited thrashing to the tormentor-turned-victim. As they yanked the frenzied Leon off, Tom had uttered the historic phrase: “Whoa, Mr. Furious! Time to turn back into Ben Stiller!” 

It was a classic line that none of them had forgot, and was the birth of a friendship that had brought the three of them out for a summer hike through Northern Ontario.

Good friends.

Good times.

So why did something suddenly feel very wrong? 

Sara tuned out the sarcastic banter between Tom and Leon and fixed her eyes upon the camper again. Her guts twisted, like when she was eyed by the occupant of a slow cruising car at night.

“Guys, I don’t think we should be here.”

Tom was already at the creaking door. “What’s got you all spooked?”

Sara shrugged. “I don’t know. Where are you going?”

Tom opened the door, ready to peer inside. “I wanna check if there’s anyone here. If not, it’d be polite of us to at least close their door, don’t ya think?”

The breeze picked up momentarily. A group of errant clouds sent shadows skittering across the camper as they passed the sun and Sara found that her arms had broken out in gooseflesh. 
 
“Man, this stuff rocks!” proclaimed Leon, entranced by the heavenly freezing spray upon his bites. 

“Feel a little better?” asked Sara as she tried to get her jitters under control.

“Hell, yeah! Tom, you’re a life-saver!”

No reply.
 
Sara stared at the doorway.

No sign.

“Tom?” she called as she and Leon cautiously approached the side-door.

A faint but repellant odor of spoiled meat seeped from the vehicle.

Leon scowled. “Tom, quit clowning. What’s going on?”

The steady thump of feet within the camper.

Sara’s heartbeat sped up. “Tom?”

Leon climbed the stoop and slipped through the half-open door. “Yo! Tom!”

Sara fought the impulse to bolt.

Mumbled voices within the camper.

Sara ran her fingers through her hair; searched left and right for interlopers in the forest. A crow startled her as it launched from a tree, shrieking a warning to none who would listen. She snapped back toward the camper. Nothing was right. They had to leave this place, now. Ignoring the waves of fear that threatened to drown her, Sara pulled open the door and looked inside.

It took a second for her eyes to grow accustomed to the dimness, and the disgusting smell. A squadron of houseflies buzzed her as they patrolled the fetid kitchen area. Half-eaten food withered on the dining table. There were no plates or eating utensils. 

Sara’s eyes skirted over the filthy walls and a floor caked with muddy footprints, until she came to the cluttered living area. A torn magazine pullout of a nude woman, her legs spread wide as she fondled her genital area, was pinned upon the wall beside a shelf that held a portable television. A police scanner and a Game Boy lay upon the coffee table in the center of the room.    

She was relieved to see Leon and Tom rummaging through the stuff. Tom screwed up his face in revulsion as he wiped the remnants of a decayed banana on his top. “These guys need a housemaid in the worst possible way.”

“What are you doing? Get out of here!”

“Chill girl. We’re just scoping out the place. Looks like we got us some Par-taaay Boys.”

Possibly, but Sara was not totally convinced. While not the bone-strewn lair of the family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the camper had an atmosphere about it. Tom passed her and inspected the kitchen.

Leon scurried over to a door that, she assumed, had a small bedroom beyond. “Hey! This must be party central!”

Sara jumped inside the trailer and ran toward him. “We’ve got no business...”

The door swung open before she could grab him.

Leon froze. “Oh shit...”

Sara stared over his shoulder.

The room was barely lit by a curtained window, and in it was a single bunk with a bloodstained quilt. A length of frayed rope and some torn articles of clothing lay on the bed.

T-Shirt. 

Jeans.
 
A pink bra.
 
The air was thick with the imprint of recent screams, and Sara realized that this secluded area of woodland would be the perfect place to dump a body. Leon backed past her, not taking his eyes off the bed. “Tom, we gotta split!”

“Sorry dude, you left the place open. We thought you broke down.” Tom was not replying to Leon. His words were directed at a newcomer.

Sara’s stomach turned to water. 

Outside the main door of the camper, framed by the fading sunlight, was a bulky, motionless silhouette. She could not discern any features as the figure was partially overshadowed by Tom, but its wispy hair reminded her of a scarecrow.

Tom continued to explain their presence within the vehicle, then suddenly he tensed up.

“Whoa! Don’t even...” He threw a punch, but the scarecrow grabbed his fist in mid-swing. Tom wrestled to free his fist from the crushing grip that held it fixed in space.

The gleaming blade of a machete, sneaked into view.
 
Low.    

Between Tom’s legs.

“DON’T!!!” he screamed.

Time crawled as the brawny youth struggled with his assailant, and it occurred to Sara that this could not possibly be happening; they were far too young, and only minutes before it had been a bright, bloodless afternoon. How could her world possibly melt into madness in the space of seconds?

Sara clasped her hands against her head.

She would not accept this. 

Suddenly, the machete whipped upward, hacking deep into Tom’s crotch. He let out an agonized howl that caused Sara’s bladder to release its contents down her legs. The machete was slowly withdrawn, and Tom fell to the floor of the camper in a writhing, wailing heap.

Leon panicked, yelping as he darted left and right; a rabbit trying to escape the stink of its own impending slaughter. As the scarecrow climbed inside the camper, Sara momentarily saw another figure beyond.

Leon dropped to the ground in a last-ditch attempt to scamper around the attacker’s legs and out the door. Scarecrow lashed out and grabbed Leon’s neck, lifting the boy up, smashing his head against the ceiling of the camper.

Sara wanted to help her friends; wanted to fight for Leon, but God forgive her, all she could think about was escape.

The bedroom window.

She dashed into the room and slammed the door, sliding a tiny lock. Instantly, she was on the bed, but as she tore away the curtains of the window, the sight of a wire mesh screen greeted her. It had been placed against the glass to stop such attempts to evade the death trap. Sara threw herself against it, crying now as she tried to tear it away.

But the screen would not budge.

Sara pressed herself against the wall of her cage, sobbing frantically as she pulled her arms about her knees for protection from the assault that was inevitable.

And beyond the door, a horrific sound above the clamber of feet in the camper.

Leon was screaming.
 
*     *     *

Sara huddled in the darkness, the blood vessels in her eyes ready to burst as she stared at the locked door. Leon was mercifully silent now, but her head was a haunted place, filled with the echoes of his torment; begging to live, then, in the end, praying to die.

The camper was still.

How many hours had it been?

They would be coming for her any second now.

No.

Maybe they never saw her. Maybe they were too filled with the things that they wanted to do to Tom and Leon. Perhaps they had had enough killing and had left the camper, their bloodlust satiated.

The door handle creaked, then rattled angrily.

But it had to be her dad. Yes, surely it was dad, rattling to see if she was awake yet; bringing her coffee in bed to rouse her for school, because he was caring like that. And perhaps she had exams today. Or was it Saturday?

A tremendous smash and the door almost split.

The lock fired across the room and landed in the center of a huge crimson stain on the bed where she must have spilled fruit punch. Sara realized that it could not possibly be time for school, for moonlight spilled through the curtains.

Why would her dad be waking her in the middle of the night?

“Daddy, is that you?” she whimpered.

A nightmare filled the doorway.

And then there was pain...
Log in to add a comment or review for this chapter Chapter updated on: 4/20/2016 12:44:25 PM
  • C. Desmond commented on :
    12/9/2015 10:17:52 PM
    Finally got to read this, man. Cracking stuff. Sorry, I didn't understand the voting thing though. Just going to buzz through and vot now. Keep at it!
    • Steven Marshall Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed the story so far. :)
      2/23/2017 3:06:38 AM
  • Edmund Stone commented on :
    8/11/2016 4:40:14 AM
    Good read. The scenes were very descriptive and the action held my interest.
    • Steven Marshall Thank you for taking the time to read, sir. :)
      8/11/2016 9:25:01 AM
  • Michael J. Brooks commented on :
    5/18/2016 10:48:44 PM
    “I promise you all, I’m going to end this” got me hooked right away! Will definitely keep reading.
    • Steven Marshall Thank you very much for checking out "Galico", Michael. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the tale! :)
      5/19/2016 12:00:54 AM
  • B. Court commented on :
    9/18/2015 12:46:07 PM
    What a hook, Steven. The scene in the camper was really chilling. You unfolded it with real skill. Now I have to read what happens next.
    • Steven Marshall Glad that scene drew you in! Hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story. :)
      4/20/2016 12:57:46 PM
  • C. Desmond commented on :
    12/9/2015 10:18:10 PM
    Finally got to read this, man. Cracking stuff. Sorry, I didn't understand the voting thing though. Just going to buzz through and vot now. Keep at it!
  • annah brown commented on :
    4/2/2016 10:58:36 PM
    Hello good day, i will like to meet you in person, am miss Anna, am from France and am leaving in London, please contact me on my email id at (annh1brown@hotmail.com), ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Hi Anna. Please feel free to email me at limesmarshall@gmail.com. Thanks!
      4/4/2016 3:52:50 PM
  • Lindsay Clarke commented on :
    2/10/2016 1:57:40 PM
    I'm brand-new to this site; I came here to post my own story and am currently waiting in agonizing limbo to see if they accept me. A lot of the stories on here aren't for ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thank you so much, Lindsay! I'm honored that you took a chance on my story... totally thrilled that you're enjoying it! Best of luck with your own story! :)
      2/10/2016 2:08:38 PM
  • Angi Shearstone commented on :
    9/21/2015 2:30:53 AM
    Wow, this grabs and hooks you right in (as I try to do in my own story)! Fantastic start! Well done. I will be reading more.
    • Steven Marshall Thanks for your kind words, Angi. Very much appreciated! :)
      9/21/2015 2:49:19 AM
  • N Halloway commented on :
    8/11/2015 10:49:18 PM
    Really attention-getting introduction! I'm quite invested!
    • Steven Marshall Thanks for checking out "Galico", N.D. I hope you'll enjoy the journey on The Long Road.
      8/12/2015 12:13:15 AM
  • Anonymous commented on :
    7/19/2015 4:35:46 PM
    Terrifying. Keep it up.
    • Steven Marshall Glad you are terrified. I'm succeeding in my mission. Thanks for reading! :)
      7/29/2015 9:40:37 PM
  • Jesus Christ commented on :
    4/16/2015 3:54:16 PM
    I've read a lot of shittybooks.. and this is not one of them ! Amazing Read, especially on Shrooms !
    • Steven Marshall Well I think it's just peachy that you don't have another cross to bear, JC! ;)
      7/28/2015 11:46:41 PM
  • Dennis Logan commented on :
    7/28/2015 12:43:50 PM
    Da horror... da horror
    • Steven Marshall Galico is --as you say, sir-- Da name for horror. Thanks for reading! ;)
      7/28/2015 11:45:24 PM
  • Jesus Christ commented on :
    4/16/2015 3:56:12 PM
    I've read a lot of shittybooks.. and this is not one of them ! Amazing Read, especially on Shrooms !
    • Steven Marshall Err... Thanks! (I think)
      4/17/2015 12:41:15 AM
    • Steven Marshall And congrats on the whole "Walking on water/Returning from the dead" thingy.
      4/17/2015 12:42:10 AM
  • Jesus Christ commented on :
    4/16/2015 3:54:59 PM
    I've read a lot of shittybooks.. and this is not one of them ! Amazing Read, especially on Shrooms !
  • Jesus Christ commented on :
    4/16/2015 3:54:17 PM
    I've read a lot of shittybooks.. and this is not one of them ! Amazing Read, especially on Shrooms !
  • Jesus Christ commented on :
    4/16/2015 3:54:15 PM
    I've read a lot of shittybooks.. and this is not one of them ! Amazing Read, especially on Shrooms !
  • Jesus Christ commented on :
    4/16/2015 3:54:08 PM
    I've read a lot of shittybooks.. and this is not one of them ! Amazing Read, especially on Shrooms !
  • K. R. Kampion commented on :
    7/12/2014 10:01:33 PM
    Freaky as hell in the best way possible! Definitely going on the shelf!
    • Steven Marshall Thank you very much, Ms. Kampion! Glad to have freaked you out! :)
      7/12/2014 11:59:11 PM
    • K. R. Kampion Oh please, it's K.R. to the fellow writers :)
      7/13/2014 12:30:53 AM
    • Steven Marshall Ok. You got it! :) My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump. ;)
      7/13/2014 5:55:20 PM
    • K. R. Kampion Hahahahahaha!! Forrest Gump is always relevant :D
      7/14/2014 12:01:23 AM
    • Steven Marshall And he taught Elvis Presley a thing or three...
      4/14/2015 12:41:49 AM
  • Robert Winter commented on :
    4/12/2015 6:28:48 PM
    Wish I could have caught this in the making. There's a lot of chapters to get through, but if they're as good as the first chapter then I'll be pretty happy. Also, the ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thanks for the kind words, Robert. I'm very happy you checked out Galico! Hope you stick around. :)
      4/12/2015 10:29:18 PM
  • Warrington G. commented on :
    2/17/2015 5:58:56 PM
    I've been bugged over and over to read this story and read a lot of horror so I'm not easy to please. Well the jokes on me because you grabbed me by the throat and choked ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thank you Warrington. From one horror fan to another, I'm truly thankful you took the time to check out my story (no zombies or sparkly vampires, I promise!) and I hope you'll keep reading. As for the apparitions, I really took great pains to make them surreal and unsettling. If you want an insight into my inspirations, I'd suggest watching "Stir of Echoes" (came out the same year as "Sixth Sense", was infinitely better and, sadly, overlooked) and a barely remembered tv show starring Matthew Fox called "Haunted". It lasted for just half a season but was brilliant.
      2/18/2015 2:08:54 AM
    • Jerry Fan now that's a compliment!
      2/18/2015 3:18:12 AM
    • Steven Marshall It is indeed, Jerry. I'm humbled.
      2/20/2015 3:31:31 AM
    • Jerry Fan wonder who was begging Warrington to read your story? :D
      2/20/2015 4:07:19 AM
    • Steven Marshall Someone I'm very thankful for, that's for sure! lol
      2/20/2015 4:16:48 AM
  • Dean Moses commented on :
    1/27/2015 7:21:54 AM
    I really liked the description of the man’s surroundings as he prepared to write. But my favorite description, by far, was the way in which he wrote about seeing dead ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thank you for checking out the story, Dean. I really wanted to get past the "Hollywood Gothic" version of spirits (Sixth Sense, Ghost, The Others) and try to present these apparitions in a nightmarish/surreal fashion. I'm glad that scored points with you. I guess I'm just from the "Stir of Echoes was WAAAY underrated and much better than The Sixth Sense" camp. ;)
      1/27/2015 9:07:38 PM
    • Dean Moses You’re welcome. I had a great deal of fun reading, so thank you. And Stir of Echoes was an excellent movie!
      1/28/2015 7:46:20 AM
    • Steven Marshall Cheers man. Glad I'm not the only "Stir of Echoes" fan. I'm in good company. :)
      1/28/2015 6:50:06 PM
  • tracy allott commented on :
    7/26/2014 2:15:34 PM
    It is interesting how the novel feels the person who meets fatality is kind of dead in another dimension as if also cut off for their value systems etc? I kind of think ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Hi Tracy! I know I'm probably being dense here, but you've lost me a bit, mate. Could you elaborate a little further? I'm interested to hear where you're coming from.
      1/16/2015 5:35:35 PM
    • tracy allott thanks for activity comment on Catch as Catch Can. it is about child abuse and naively written since I was once a sex victim tho am still virgin after molested at 32. I tried to make it colourful but it is rather unusual and I am reading conventional novels that catch on to change style not copying of course. thanks, hope this explains, still feel the theme and writing tho unusual is clear? need votes if you are able tracy allott UK
      1/16/2015 5:45:58 PM
    • Steven Marshall That makes me sad that you experienced such a thing, Tracy. However, I applaud your bravery in turning such a negative incident into a work of creative expression. That's very empowering for others who may have shared a similar experience and you will absolutely get my votes. Now I understand why the first part of Galico resonated with you. With that said, much as I don't want to drive someone away from reading my story, it would be irresponsible of me not to warn you that those particular themes run strong (and exceptionally dark) through this story. Please proceed with caution if you decide to go further. While it's simply fiction, it's not my desire to take you to places you'd rather not dwell. All my best to you!
      1/16/2015 9:21:26 PM
  • Peter Marshall commented on :
    2/2/2014 3:50:10 PM
    Great story Steve,look forward to the next chapter.
    • Steven Marshall If there's one person you can always count on... it's your Dad! :)
      12/31/2014 3:11:33 AM
  • S Vest commented on :
    2/5/2014 7:47:49 PM
    Well, you've got the horror genre down! Well done.
  • M. Howalt commented on :
    9/8/2014 5:41:21 PM
    Excellent prose! I found the opening scene chilling and gripping at the same time. The atmosphere is great, and the little amusing details about the characters make what ... Show More
  • Christina Ratcliffe commented on :
    8/19/2014 10:04:23 AM
    I like how you used faint comedy with the one-liners to ease the atmosphere and provide a sense of comfort at the beginning, only to slowly rip it away later. I was ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thank you so much, Christina. :) Good luck with your serial. I shall check it out tonight!
      8/19/2014 4:58:42 PM
  • Ryan Watt commented on :
    8/13/2014 2:01:04 AM
    I love how the opening journal entry puts you on edge so that even the "bright, bloodless afternoon" is full of shadows the reader is jumping at before anything actually ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thank you, Ryan. I'm glad the chapter got under your skin (in a good way). I hope you'll stay for the rest of the journey on The Long Road. Please consider dropping by the Galico Facebook page to say "Hi"! ;) www.facebook.com/stevenmarshallgalico
      8/13/2014 2:47:09 AM
    • Ryan Watt I just might! And I hope you get a chance to enjoy mind
      8/13/2014 3:39:52 AM
  • J.K. Garner commented on :
    8/5/2014 3:40:58 AM
    I love the start to this how it is vague keeping hold of just enough information to keep (me) the reader needing to know more to make sense of this man's story and this ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thanks Jordan! :) No, sorry... it isn't on Kindle. Yet...
      8/5/2014 2:09:35 PM
    • J.K. Garner Well, you will have to announce on JP when it is so that I can buy myself a copy.
      8/5/2014 11:11:22 PM
    • Steven Marshall I will Jordan, thank you for your support. I can't say more right now, but there has already been some exciting interest! Stay tuned... ;)
      8/6/2014 2:36:33 PM
  • a dabra commented on :
    8/4/2014 6:01:08 AM
    great start!
    • Steven Marshall Thank you so much, Sharmishtha! Your words are appreciated! :)
      8/4/2014 10:41:55 AM
  • Evelyn May commented on :
    6/17/2014 6:08:11 PM
    Your words flow so well! What a great start! I will definitely be reading this one!!
    • Steven Marshall Thanks very much, Evelyn. Glad to have you onboard! :)
      6/17/2014 7:17:42 PM
  • Terry Baker commented on :
    5/5/2014 10:45:12 PM
    off to a great start, Steve!! This is perfect to read while I eagle watch.
  • Brandon Mills Johnson commented on :
    4/22/2014 6:10:52 PM
    A gripping first chapter indeed, particularly the opener on the park bench. The vibe there was so creepy. Judging by your abundance of plus votes, I'm not the only one ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Cheers Brandon. Glad you felt the vibe of the park scene. I worked hard to get the eerie feeling just right, as it's really the "make or break" moment for a horror fan. If I don't connect there, chances are they won't read any further. Hopefully you'll come back to see what else is in store. Oh and yes, absolutely I'll check out your story when I'm home tonight. I already looked it up... Chameleon, yes? :)
      4/22/2014 7:42:37 PM
  • Eric Murphy commented on :
    4/22/2014 3:43:53 PM
    Yes! A story set in Canada! Also, was that a "mystery men" reference halfway through?
    • Steven Marshall Well spotted, Mr. Murphy! That was indeed a reference to "Mystery Men"! You have NOT won... *Steve nervously rips open a manila envelope*... AN ALL EXPENSES PAID VACATION THROUGH NORTHERN ONTARIO IN A CAMPER DRIVEN BY PSYCHOTIC TOUR GUIDES!!! ;)
      4/22/2014 4:12:43 PM
  • Crystal Cherie commented on :
    4/3/2014 9:50:58 PM
    I love your use of language! It flows very nicely.
    • Steven Marshall Thanks very much, Crystal! I appreciate your support! :)
      4/7/2014 12:45:24 AM
  • F.A Carrillo commented on :
    4/3/2014 9:58:19 AM
    Good first chapter. Eager to read the rest!
    • Steven Marshall Thank you so much, Francesca! Glad you enjoyed your first mile on The Long Road! ;)
      4/3/2014 1:51:24 PM
  • Gavin Logan commented on :
    3/29/2014 7:56:45 PM
    Excellent start Steven, very dark. I think I'm going to enjoy this one. Voted! Maybe you could have a read at my serial, would appreciate your votes thanks
    • Steven Marshall Thank you very much for taking the time to read the Prologue, Gavin! Your words and support are very much appreciated! I just looked up your novel "A Dull Boy" and yes, I'd be more than happy to have a read! All the best to you, sir! :)
      3/30/2014 11:43:58 PM
  • Celeste DeWolfe commented on :
    2/26/2014 12:00:58 AM
    I don't read horror often, but I think I'm definitely going to have to continue on with this. Talk about a story with a hook! Murder in a camper. Anyway, good start, ... Show More
    • Steven Marshall Thank you very much, Celeste! Your support is greatly appreciated! If I can catch someone's attention who isn't normally a fan of the genre, that makes me feel good. I observed you have a novel on the go also: "The Life of Gaia". I shall take a drop by and have a read before bed (and that sounds like one my girlfriend might enjoy too!) :)
      2/26/2014 3:02:52 AM
    • Celeste DeWolfe Happy to oblige--you do seem to have a knack! (But that's to be expected, since your bio seems to have quite a few notches in it. Congrats!) And I hope you like it. The more the merrier! :))
      2/26/2014 5:27:04 AM
  • Steven Marshall commented on :
    2/5/2014 10:21:59 PM
    Shannon: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work and for reaching out to me. As one writer to another, you words mean the world to me. Sincerely. I see ... Show More
  • Anonymous commented on :
    2/3/2014 2:47:42 PM
    Great stuff....... Step aside King.......... Marshall's coming through.
    • Steven Marshall My goodness! Whoever you are Mr/Ms Anonymous... Thank you so much! :)
      2/3/2014 2:50:37 PM
  • Lisa Gremillion commented on :
    2/2/2014 2:08:15 PM
    Brilliant. Have read work by this author before, always a chilling and well written story from Steve Marshall. Please, please write more;)
    • Steven Marshall Glad you enjoy my work, Lisa! Keep reading! Thanks for the support! :)
      2/2/2014 6:29:35 PM
  • Peter Marshall commented on :
    2/2/2014 9:44:31 AM
    fantastic, can't wait for the next chapter.
    • Steven Marshall Glad you liked it, mate! :) Thanks for the support!
      2/2/2014 6:28:25 PM
  • Brenda Douglas commented on :
    2/1/2014 8:57:14 PM
    Love the first chapter. Well done Steve. Chapter two can't come soon enough!
    • Steven Marshall Cheers for the love, Brenda. :) The next part will be up soon. I think you'll like it! It's just like "The Walking Dead"!!! Except... less zombies, fewer crossbows and no eye-patch wearing psychos! ;)
      2/2/2014 12:17:47 AM
  • Cheryl Reiss commented on :
    2/1/2014 7:47:11 PM
    Terrific writing, Steve. Looking forward to more!!
    • Steven Marshall Glad you liked it, Cheryl. Your support is greatly appreciated. :)
      2/2/2014 12:13:46 AM
  • Gwen Marshall commented on :
    2/1/2014 4:25:02 PM
    First chapter brilliant. Looking forward with great interest to the next chapter.
    • Steven Marshall Thank you so much for taking the time to read and support Galico, Anonymous! Greatly appreciated! I hope you'll stick around to see where the story goes! P.S If you are Stephen King... Salem's Lot was BRILLIANT!!! P.P.S If you're Darth Vader... Dude! He was your son and you chopped his hand off! P.P.P.S If you're Richard Nixon... You WERE a crook! ;)
      2/1/2014 5:18:22 PM
  • Amber Mastrandrea commented on :
    2/1/2014 3:22:53 PM
    Can't wait for the next chapter!! Great writing Steve!
    • Steven Marshall Thanks so much for your support, Amber! With a little help from The Big J (who buys me burgers, shakes and fries), see what I can accomplish?!?! ;)
      2/1/2014 4:01:05 PM
  • Kathy Sue commented on :
    2/1/2014 10:23:24 AM
    Well written! I can't wait to read the next chapter. Excellent job Steven Marshall, Keep writing!
  • Blieu Earp commented on :
    2/1/2014 3:50:06 AM
    Ok. Im hooked when do we get to read the next installment. Very well written. Steven marshall needs a publishing deal.
    • Steven Marshall Glad you're enjoying it, Blieu! :) New chapters will go up between 2-4 weeks. I hope you'll stick around for the ride! :)
      2/1/2014 1:40:42 PM
  • Justine Lloyd commented on :
    2/1/2014 2:47:57 AM
    Excellent first chapter - has me gripped already, can't wait to read the next!
    • Steven Marshall Thank you, Justine. From the heart! Your support means the world! :)
      2/1/2014 1:39:00 PM
  • 2/26/2014 6:07:22 AM
    This is precisely the kind of first chapter/prologue that anyone should aim for. The reader is drawn in by a morbid fascination for the so-called 'Watchers,' and then hit ... Show More
  • 4/7/2014 6:38:47 PM
    Great first chapter! The derelict camper in the woods resonated very deeply with me at a fundamental level as I'm sure it would with anyone who'd spent any time in the ... Show More
  • 8/5/2014 3:42:19 AM
    Loving this story and cannot wait to read more. As if scarecrows weren't scary enough, now there is a scarecrow-looking machete-carrying madman I have to fear during my ... Show More