InnerWorld- The OtherWorld Series
Jennifer Avalon
(3 reviews)
"I should have died that night. Something saved me, and honestly I never really cared what it was, I ... Show More
Fantasy, Mystery, Paranormal, Urban Fantasy, Young Adult
fantasy, mystery, paranormal, magic, creatures, mystery, young adult, YA, Urban Fantasy,


Part I: Dusk

“Your Inner World is a place of secrets, dreams, hopes, aspirations, fantasies, and plans- of longing, anger, love, hope, ambition, and yearning for happiness. This place is both sanctuary and place of turmoil. It is where vitality withers or flourishes because here we create our deepest identity through our desires.” -Activating Your Thunder

Chapter 1: Reckless

Screams echoed down the dark hallway rattling windows, sending shivers into every crack and crevice. Blood burned under his skin and the hairs on his arms felt like they were charged with electricity. His head pounded and his ears buzzed, drowning out the sounds of the other voice in the room.
“Gavyn Fraser! You’d better learn to control in that temper of yours before I rain down a storm that would take down the plains of heaven and hell itself!”
His father’s thick voice boomed down the hall, its baritone threatening to suffocate the life out of the body of everyone on the block. My father. He could barely stand thinking about the title forced on Lionel Fraser. More like an incessant lingering nuisance, invading my home like a plague.
Gavyn loathed his father. Just the sight of him in Gavyn’s room, his features so eerily mimicking his own, boiled his blood. Light brown wavy disheveled hair, beads of sweat trailing down deep arched brows and into his light brown eyes; the likeness was sickening.
At this moment his father’s green and purple veins protruded out of his swollen neck and Gavyn could almost hear the blood rushing in his veins. He knew he should be scared, but there was no room for fear amongst the hate.
“I’m already in hell! What else can you possibly do?” Gavyn bellowed back.  “Get out of my room!” He grabbed onto the back of his desk chair and launched it across the room breaking the closet door off the hinges.
“What is going on?” Footsteps bounded down the hall as Gavyn’s mother rushed into the room. Her auburn hair was tied in a messy curly ponytail at the top of her head, her baggy gray sweatpants and a green “Grumpy” dwarf t-shirt hung loosely on her small frame. “Gavyn! Calm down!”
“Me? What the hell mom! Tell him something!” Gavyn voice cracked as he jabbed a finger toward his father.
“That’s it! Today you learn some respect once and for all! Tamara, this kid is pushing me beyond my limits!”
“Gavyn, show your father some respect and calm down!”
“He may be my father but he hasn’t earned my respect!”
“Gavyn! Stop it!” His mother pleaded standing between the two Frasers. “What’s gotten in to you?”
Gavyn’s mother stared at him through droopy blood shot eyes. The dark, sunken circles wrapped around them making her look drained, haggard and old despite her young age.
Normally, Gavyn had nothing but compassion for his mother. She suffered because of the choices she made for her life, choices that mainly revolved around Lionel. But with enough time, it only managed to fuel Gavyn’s resentment of his father and at this moment, Gavyn couldn’t find any compassion to give.
“In to me? You stand there in front of him and ask what’s gotten into me! How can you ignore his crap mom?” His tone was harsh, but he didn’t care. “We don’t need this slutbag around!”
“Gavyn!” His mother yelled, as his father bounded for him.
“You spoiled, ungrateful little –“ Lionel struggled to restrain his words. “You think you’re grown? You think you’re a man? You want to call the shots? Get over here so I can show you how men handle things.”
Lionel shoved Tamara out of his way and latched onto the sleeve of Gavyn’s shirt. The fabric stretched and ripped giving him a brief second to charge down the stairs away from his father.
Gavyn could hear the struggling and yelling upstairs as he hurried into the kitchen, but he couldn’t make out any words over the pounding in his head.
His father wasn’t directly behind him, which meant his mother must have slowed him down. His body was trembling with the need to take action. He stood for a second looking around the room. Lionel’s worn out brown leather bomber jacket was slung over the back of one of the rickety mismatched dinner chairs.
A million thoughts cluttered his mind as he stared blankly at the table, making a decision he didn’t even know he was contemplating.
In the moment he heard an upstairs door slam, Gavyn picked up his fathers coat, searched frantically through the pockets, pulling out a bunch of silver keys. He tossed the jacket to the ground and snatched a pair of heavy shades sitting on the table.
As footsteps beat down the stairs, he threw his blue New York Giants jacket on and tore out of the house. The dried leaves crunched under his feet as he circled around and the smell of the autumn air failed to clear his mind.
He stopped in front of the garage pulling a black canvas cover from a sleek and shiny dark blue motorcycle, his fathers pride and joy.
Gavyn flung his leg over the top and slid the shades onto his face. He grabbed the black helmet from around the handlebars, clicking it around his chin and slid the key into the ignition.
The purr of the motor was followed by a loud bellow echoing from the kitchen window. Gavyn revved the engine and looked around in time to catch his father sprinting around the corner. A wicked smile spread from ear to ear as he flipped off his father and sped off into the cool afternoon.
The chilly air stung Gavyn’s cheeks, but he barely felt it as he watched colorful autumn trees blur by in a kaleidoscope of colors. He loved the speed as much as he loved the freedom. It helped him think.
Gavyn attempted to sort through the chaos that spun in his head. His father was a bastard. That much he knew. But things weren’t always bad. In fact they had been downright pleasant for a long time.
He wasn’t exactly sure when the change happened, but it was as if when he was going through puberty, so did his dad. He remembered being about fourteen when his father had had gone from patient and understanding to rude, curt and short fused. Anything and everything Gavyn and his mother did would set him off and he would charge off in a rage on his bike.
It hadnt always been this way. Gavyn remembered a time his father would come home from work and take him on short trips around the quiet suburban New Jersey neighborhood. He never went fast enough to put Gavyn in any danger and never rounded any sharp turns. Gavyn loved those moments with the dad that used to be, taking on the world one mile at a time.
Then his dad started to refuse to take him out on the bike. No matter how many times he asked, no matter how much he pleaded, no matter how early in the day it was, his father claimed he just didn’t have time anymore. Gavyn had thought his mother had something to do with the abrupt stop to the motorcycle trips, but something told him she would never do that.
A few months ago, his dad invested in the sleek new BMW motorcycle that Gavyn was forbidden to go near. So he did the only thing he could do when he needed his speed fix: he took the bike out on his own before his dad got home. After all, if his father could disappear for hours at a time, Gavyn could have his bout of rebellion as well.
The thought of his father’s empty dinner chair fueled a more aggressive burst of speed from him as he raged down the deserted tree lined streets. Lionel Fraser would come home after work, sometimes say “Hi” to Gavyn, and swap his 2000 Toyota Corolla keys for motorcycle ones and ride off. By the time he came home, dinner wares were in the dishwasher and Gavyn was long tucked away for the night.
Anger flared in the pit of his stomach as he thought of everything his mother had to put up with and Gavyn hit the speed a little more. His mother was the one constant in his life when his father flew off in his tirades. She never stopped being mom in spite of dad’s ease at stopping at being a dad.
Gavyn could feel the power from the motorcycle coursing under him and the rush helped to curb his fury. The faster he went, the more he felt he could deal.  He was being reckless, but he felt invincible.
The helmet shifted a little on his head as he slanted the bike toward the right around a turn. He only just realized he hadn’t sufficiently tightened the strap around his chin before speeding off.
The thought of his dramatic exit on his fathers BMW 1200 GS Adventure gave Gavyn a great sense of satisfaction. Maybe he’d dare to get a scratch or nick on the bodywork. He knew he’d pay dearly for it, but he was going to pay anyway, might as well make it worth it.
Maneuvering the bike around a tight corner, he felt it slip just a little; at sixteen, his control was good, but not tight. His counter-steering needed more help but he was sure he’d be more than apt once he was riding his own bike. A quick glance at the speedometer showed that he was going about 90 mph after recovering from the turn.
Deciding carelessness could not be a good idea; he started to slow down as he approached the Outerbridge Crossing. He hadn’t even realized he had ridden so far.
The road was surprisingly empty considering the busy bridge; it should be bustling with trucks and school buses at this time. Where was everyone? Slowing down a little more, Gavyn reached up to the strap around his chin with one hand. He fumbled with the cord knowing he had to be as quick as possible in order to return his full attention to the handlebars. He had just about pulled the end tightly around his chin when an obscure shadow darkened his path.
Pulling the bike over to the side, Gavyn searched the skies and the trees, but there was nothing and that in itself, was a problem. There were no birds, no traffic, no leaves rustling, no movement, no nothing. Only silence. Gavyn’s heart quickened, and his body already coursing with adrenaline, started shivering. Something was not right.
He stood, frozen in place amidst the numbing stillness when out of the darkness burst a white light with such intensity it blinded Gavyn for a minute making him stumble to the cold ground.
Still trying to blink the blindness from his eyes, Gavyn could just make out a large monstrous shadow in front of him. The shadow spread out building in the sky like a storm cloud. Fear and flight melted his stiff muscles and new energy pulsed through his veins. He pulled himself up and jumped onto the bike revving the engine as he swung the bike around and away from the shadow.
He tore away as fast as he could, rearing around sharp turns with the fierceness of prey running from a predator. His only objective was to get away from whatever it was that was behind him. He could barely make out another turn up ahead as his breathing became heavy and struggled. The silence was suffocating him.
Frantic and with his heart pounding, Gavyn dared to accelerate a little more as he tore around another corner. The bike slanted dangerously to the right around the curve. As he continued forward, he felt something slithering across his shoulder blades, down the center of his spine, and stretching under his ribs. Icy nails clawed on every nerve end and shot daggers up his back.
Gavyn tried to scream, but there was no sound in the silence. His foot slipped off the foot bed and his body jerked to the side. No longer knowing which direction he was going in, the silence came to an abrupt stop and his ears were bombarded with the sound of screeching and scratching metal against cement.
He felt his grip loosen from the handlebars and he gave up his struggle to breathe. The last sound he heard was his heart make one more violent thump in his eardrum.  Then there was nothing, as he gave up his body to quiet and darkness.
Message from Author:

Pssst... Hey you! Yea, you! Now that I've got your attention I want to say Thank you so much for reading! There's no better feeling than knowing people are reading and supporting your work. Your votes just made my day a little bit brighter!

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Log in to add a comment or review for this chapter Chapter updated on: 9/4/2014 1:35:27 AM
  • Yashita Ghazi commented on :
    5/31/2017 10:58:23 PM
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  • annah brown commented on :
    4/3/2016 12:00:08 AM
    Hello good day, i will like to meet you in person, am miss Anna, am from France and am leaving in London, please contact me on my email id at (, ... Show More
  • TP Keating commented on :
    7/27/2015 6:47:31 PM
    Love the writing.
  • Gabrielle Christian commented on :
    11/25/2014 10:30:32 AM
    I like the misty cover of the book and I am only at the first chapter. I enjoyed it! I have a lot to learn from your way of creating the scenes!
    • Jennifer Avalon Gabrielle, Thank you for the compliment! When I created the cover I had a distinct story in mind, but it has changed a little since then and now the cover I currently have seems more suitable for another story I have in mind so it may be changing soon :) I'm also glad you weren't overwhelmed by the scenery too much. I tend to get carried away sometimes and have been trying to streamline more. Thanks again for reading and I hope you continue on!
      11/25/2014 7:33:23 PM
    • Gabrielle Christian I hope that I'll have the time, the story deserves to be read!
      12/3/2014 9:47:18 AM
  • Evan Marcroft commented on :
    11/4/2014 11:45:00 PM
    That is some high-quality cliff-hanger right there, yessir. If you don't mind me I'll be peeking at chapter 2 now.
    • Jennifer Avalon Why thank you sir! I appreciate the read!
      11/5/2014 3:58:14 AM
    • Evan Marcroft No problem! I can always find time for good stuff
      11/5/2014 6:48:45 AM
  • Irish Jonnie commented on :
    8/15/2014 1:09:30 PM
    Just finished the first chapter, very interesting. You started the foundation off smoothly with a look into the domestic circumstances around him and then gave a ... Show More
  • Ryan Watt commented on :
    8/10/2014 3:46:09 PM
    As I was reading the bulk of this chapter, the argument so real, so true to life that I had to think "wait, was this supposed to have a scifi or fantasy plotline or not?" ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon First off, thank you so much for reading Ryan! It means the world to me! And thank you even more for the feedback. I've only gotten to revise chapter 1 so for but I am planning some edits up ahead. But yes, this is no doubt a fantasy staged in the world as we know it. And maybe even a little sci-fi mixed in too but I'm only now beginning to touch on that in the most basic way possible. I hope you continue to enjoy it!
      8/11/2014 12:53:32 AM
    • Ryan Watt Well it doesn't matter! While I was looking for an urban fantasy story originally, what I found - whatever it ends up being - I will read it because this opening was so darn good!
      8/11/2014 1:37:33 AM
  • Eric commented on :
    6/28/2014 10:30:07 PM
    Well, I hope this wasn't the short history of Gavyn haha. Wow, the argument in the beginning of the chapter wow, spot on. Well done on that! I enjoyed the chapter ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Thanks Dustin! As I write now I've become more aware of the lengthy paragraphs and wordiness. I've been trying to cut things up a bit more but it's hard breaking old habits. I will continue t keep in in mind tho? When I get to some rewrites that's one thing I'm definitely going to try to change. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment!
      6/29/2014 6:14:10 PM
  • Jack Turton commented on :
    6/18/2014 9:31:33 PM
    Really enjoyed this chapter, can't wait to read on!! You write in great detail which is brilliantly enthralling and I do love how you string your sentences together.
  • B.M.B. Johnson commented on :
    6/15/2014 4:41:06 AM
    Hi, Jennifer. I would mirror practically everything Stuart mentioned. Although the gift of over-gab can be a definite boon in this field for sure, knowing what to throw ... Show More
  • Stuart Bedlam commented on :
    6/12/2014 12:01:41 AM
    Hi, I'm loving the story so far...and I don't even have to wait to see what happens since there are currently 12 chapters. Yay! Small gripe. And maybe this is more of a ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Stuart, first thanks for reading and for the very thoughtful response. Second, I really appreciate you pointing out the wordiness. I am totally aware of how wordy I can be and no matter how hard I try, I can never seem to fully rein it in! I'm hoping to do some serious rewrites over the summer and the wordiness will be on the top of my list!
      6/12/2014 2:31:10 AM
  • Brian Guthrie commented on :
    6/5/2014 3:55:12 PM
    Giving your first a read. I have others to finish but you read mine so I'll return the favor for now:-) I promise I'll come back. Good tension. That argument felt very ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Thanks Brian. Honestly I often reread my story and want to change things (including little typos here and there that still remain unfixed!), but have a hard time editing things from my phone. And of course when I'm sitting at my computer, I start focusing on the next chapter and forget to back track. It's really no excuse, I really should be on top of it. I will definitely check out my wordiness. I tend to do that a lot when I initially write and then have to go back and fix it later. Thanks again!
      6/5/2014 4:20:15 PM
    • Brian Guthrie I do it too. I'm halfway through editing act three of mine and I'm slashing sentences left and right.
      6/5/2014 4:23:52 PM
  • Brandon Mills Johnson commented on :
    3/14/2014 3:56:34 PM
    A little late to the party, but I felt the argument was well done and while I have no clue what happened at the end, I think that was the point. I'm intrigued.
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much for reading Brandon! I appreciate any feedback I can get! I hope you enjoy what's to come!
      3/14/2014 4:37:20 PM
  • Jennifer Flath commented on :
    3/12/2014 3:33:07 PM
    I'm just catching up, so I have a ways to go, but I love the detail (Grumpy t-shirt--perfect), and I love how from the first few paragraphs every character is round and ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much for reading Jennifer! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you keep reading!
      3/12/2014 4:22:43 PM
    • Jennifer Flath Real life is about to become a problem (like having to get dressed and take care of a preschooler when Sesame Street ends), but I'll come back!
      3/12/2014 4:27:10 PM
    • Jennifer Avalon Thanks Jennifer. I really am aware of my characters right now because I always feel like they're missing something, but they're really coming into their own now.
      3/14/2014 4:38:21 PM
  • A.N. Jackwitz commented on :
    2/23/2014 9:57:54 PM
    This chapter is amazing! So detailed, everything is so clear. Gives me hints of how to add more description to my own writing. And I honestly don't know why I never read ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! I had been reworking this chapter for a long time. It's been through a lot of changes. I really appreciate you reading!
      2/24/2014 12:30:04 AM
  • C Fresh commented on :
    2/17/2014 5:43:04 PM
    Wow. Very intense and suspenseful! Interesting dynamics between the characters...I love how the son is seeing the tension of his mother's choices and trying to "hold that ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you! Tension is always hard to get organized and I always struggled with realism. I appreciate you reading!
      2/17/2014 6:13:29 PM
  • Lisa Klass commented on :
    2/16/2014 10:52:46 AM
    Great, suspenseful lead into the story, descriptions and characters are strong. I could see the chapter play out in my mind as if watching a movie.
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you Lisa! I hope you continue to keep reading!
      2/17/2014 6:12:27 PM
  • Bryan Jonker commented on :
    2/11/2014 6:47:49 AM
    I love the detail on this. Can't wait to see where this goes.
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you Bryan! Sometimes I can let my descriptions of setting and atmosphere get away from me and I'm glad you don't think I did! I really appreciate you reading!
      2/11/2014 1:56:32 PM
  • Andrew Aguilar commented on :
    2/9/2014 6:51:52 PM
    Love the detail! Your characters are very vividly written. That's something I'm struggling with, too much versus not enough information. Can't wait to see where you're going!!!
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much! I struggle with my characters. I often feel like they're missing something, that they don't feel real. But recently I found that they, especially Gavyn, started taking shape without my thinking about it! I found myself telling a friend, "he wasn't supposed to do this or be this way but he wanted to!" It's an odd feeling when you find your characters behaving in ways you hadn't thought of lol
      2/11/2014 1:54:31 PM
    • Anika Dunbar I honestly have the same struggle with my characters as well. I want them to go in a certain direction, but as the story goes on, it seems like they're steering themselves. It's kind of weird, but at the same time intriguing as to how that happens. It's like they write their own fate.
      2/13/2014 5:17:40 PM
    • Jennifer Avalon I hear you Anika! It's funny and amazing to see them shaping their own lives. When I started they were just these cardboard cutout a and now they have depth, personalities and opinions.
      2/23/2014 8:22:02 AM
  • F.C. Janes commented on :
    1/26/2014 3:15:34 PM
    I'm not usually one that enjoys the modern time period. However I did enjoy this chapter and I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next. Great start!
    • Jennifer Avalon Wow! You have no idea how great it feels to know you enjoyed the start of my story even though it's out of your normal reading preference! Thank you for giving it a try!
      1/27/2014 1:37:05 AM
  • L. A. Torchia commented on :
    1/25/2014 6:21:28 PM
    I was hook at "I should have died that night." I came here to see if I could learn something from you and now all I want to do is read the story. No more time for ... Show More
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much for your kind words! It's a truly amazing feeling to just have people reading my work and give me feedback! Every chapter is new opportunity to learn and grow!
      1/26/2014 12:38:58 AM
    • L. A. Torchia I totally agree!
      1/26/2014 1:52:50 AM
  • S Vest commented on :
    1/24/2014 9:01:16 PM
    Oh! I wonder what happens next....curious....
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad it sparked your curiousity! Curiouser and curiouser!
      1/25/2014 3:18:28 AM
  • Laura Morrison commented on :
    1/9/2014 1:57:32 PM
    I love it! The end of this chapter is not at all what I expecting to happen. Very cool.
    • Jennifer Avalon Thank you so much! I appreciate it! I'm glad you liked it and were surprised :)
      1/9/2014 2:31:54 PM
    • Laura Morrison If you get a chance could you possibly check out my story? I'm new to this site and still figuring out how to navigate around :)
      1/9/2014 3:00:23 PM
    • Jennifer Avalon Gladly! I'm really new as well so I know what it's like!
      1/9/2014 5:58:41 PM
  • 6/5/2014 3:56:47 PM
    Excellent opening. Amazing tension. The dialogue and writing to that argument was top notch. I'll admit when you got near the end and everything was gone I thought you ... Show More
  • 4/12/2014 1:23:33 AM
    This is so well written and intricate! I am officially fascinated.
  • 12/17/2013 8:56:03 PM
    Definitely an attention grabber. I didn't know where it would go until I got to the end but when there was no one around and that eerie sent chills up my ... Show More